Urban Decay Perversion Mascara

In the event that I were stranded on a desert island, the one makeup item I’d take with me is mascara.  No doubt in my mind.  As the ship’s going down I’d have a life jacket in one hand and a tube of my best black mascara in the other.  That being said, I find mascara to be the most polarizing makeup product out there.  You have your people who either LOVE Maybelline Great Lash or they hate it (I’m in the hate category on that one).  Same love/hate situation with the popular Dior Show (I love).  Some people want volumizing.  Some want length.  I want it all, and I want it in a formula that doesn’t irritate my eyes, doesn’t clump, lasts all day without smudging, but easily comes off when I wash it off at night.  So basically I’m looking for the impossible, but a girl can still dream.  So I bring you my review of Urban Decay Perversion mascara knowing you fully might not agree with my opinion on its competitors, but I’m willing to bet you won’t be able to resist the texture of this newcomer to the mascara market. 

For those of you who like the shiny, jet black pigments of Great Lash or They’re Real, you’ll love the pigment on this.  The slogan on the bottle is “Bigger, Blacker, Badder” and they’re not kidding.  My gripe about the aforementioned competitors is that usually when you get something that black and shiny, you usually get clumps or spider lashes.  But not with Perversion!  The formula is somehow clump-proof, regardless of how many coats you apply.  And it never gets crunchy on your lashes either.  You won’t get that weird powdery black fall-out situation under your eyes at the end of the day.  It will absolutely stay put.

Ok, another thing I don’t like about a lot of other mascaras is the brushes.  Those weird plastic-y, spikey brushes that look like a medieval torture device are NOT for me.  I like more classic mascara brushes, like the Dior Shows and the YSL’s of the world frequently have.  Perversion’s brush is more like the latter, appearing like a traditional mascara brush at first glance, but it actually has twisted bristles to coat all of your lashes sans clumping.  Which brings me to my FAVORITE thing about the mascara.  The texture.  This has to be the smoothest mascara application on the planet.  The texture is super creamy so it just glides right on.  I absolutely loathe when a mascara is too dry and it takes several coats to get all the lashes and get all the clumps out.  This formula is certainly not dry, but not wet enough that you feel like you can’t blink for five minutes (which tends to happen with super black mascaras).  It’s actually perfect.  And, even though I’m a 3-coat type of gal, you really could walk out with one coat on.  It’s smooth enough that it coats all your lashes on the first go-round, and smooth enough that if you DO choose to wear 3 coats, you won’t clump or tear your lashes out.  I mean, how did they do that?  I’m confused and scared and excited, like Jessie Spano on pills.

Last, but certainly not least, I have to tell you that the good things about the fomula don’t end with its smooth application.  Oh, no.  They gave us a formula that actually makes your lashes healthier whilst wearing it.  How are we supposed to resist Perversion now?  The formula contains a proprietary complex of proteins and amino acids that they’re calling Hairdensyl.  It’s got Marine Glycogen, honey extract, and other random marine nutrients that nourish the lashes and possibly stimulate hair growth!  I could certainly use that right now.

So pervs, I am daring you to try this mascara.  I’m triple-dog-daring you to try it.  And let me know what you think.  I hope you’re all as amazed as I am.